Kristi ([info]kristi4) wrote,
@ 2007-01-27 01:19:00
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So, just took 3 Clonazepam, 2 Ambien, and 10 Darvon.  30 more Darvon to go if I want to die.  I can stop at any time and be fine I think so I haven't make THE decision yet.  Not sure why I'm updating - think I'll go watch TV and drink my Hennessy in front of the lovely fire I have going.

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[info]worrying
2007-01-27 09:28 am UTC (link)
bless you sweet heart. i truly hope you find some sort of peace regardless of the outcome of tonight.

(Reply to this)


[info]king_josie
2007-01-27 09:53 am UTC (link)
please Kristi don't do this. trust me on this one, i might be young and stupid, but there are definitely reasons to keep going. you're such a wonderful awesome person and there's so much hope. the pain of depression and the endless nothingness cant last forever hun. there ARE things that can change. it wont always be like this. there are probably amazing things that can happen in the future for you.
please dont :'( xxxxxxxx
ps, if you ever wanna talk - king_josie@hotmail.com

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[info]squeeblette
2007-01-27 10:11 am UTC (link)
uhm..

reading your post made me cry

you can do whatever you want with your body, it's your's

but your life is not just your's babe, we're all wrapped up in it together... uhm...
yeah

i don't even know what to say

i love you babe

i look up to you as a sister, but also i see so much of myself in you, and in the problems you face daily, and i just... i guess when i see you quitting and giving up, it tells me that one day i'm going to get there with my life too..

i just don't want to lose someone i care so much about.. but..

yeah..

babe i love you

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[info]mandabelly
2007-01-27 11:44 am UTC (link)
i dont really kno you that well but i pray to God that you are okay! please dont do this to your self. you are an amazing person from all that i know of you. there are great thing that are bound to happen in your future that you have to stick it out for. <3

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[info]asti68
2007-01-27 04:00 pm UTC (link)
Sweetheart, you've been so distant in the past month or more. I've seen this decline, and felt so helpless. I'm saddened, but not at all surprised, that it's come to this. I wish you could appreciate that which I, and so many others, see in you. A caring, whitty, philosophical young woman...yearning to make a difference. And the best part is, you HAVE made a difference in the lives of so many young women, through your efforts around here.
Alas, what's done is done. I'm selfishly praying that you awaken soon, incredibly hungover, but ALIVE. I love you like a sister, babe.
Astrid

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[info]daniella89
2007-01-27 04:50 pm UTC (link)
I`m so sorry Kristi. my heart goes out to you.

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[info]nobeautyinthis
2007-01-27 06:54 pm UTC (link)
Please stop. *HUGS*

It will pass.

nobeautyinthis@gmail.com

(Reply to this)


[info]nobeautyinthis
2007-01-27 06:59 pm UTC (link)
Pills don't kill you immediately, by the way. It takes up to a week for a liver to fail. Then they try a transplant if they can get one. In the meantime, you are writhing and fucking suffering.

Kristi, you are worth more than this. I want to shake you and scream at you and hold you. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN DEATH.

Please don't do this to yourself. To us. Call an ambulance, love. 911. Please.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]nextdrinksonme
2007-01-30 03:12 am UTC (link)
They'd never give a transplant liver to someone to tried to kill themselves, specially an anorexic. One of the criteria for transplant is a clean record of mental health. Eating disorders, chronic depression, and suicide attempts = no transplant.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]addisonmcm
2007-01-27 08:00 pm UTC (link)
please don't do this.

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[info]faleiry
2007-01-27 09:27 pm UTC (link)
kristi...

god. you don't need this, the world does't need this... try to hang on... this is so fucked up...

=(

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[info]shirochillasama
2007-01-28 01:19 am UTC (link)
You can't die, you're too smart to lose.

If you did it, I hope at least somebody gets to your house to rescue you...

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[info]junglecandy
2007-01-28 01:47 am UTC (link)
Oh Kristi. I hope you're okay.

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[info]eternalanchor
2007-01-28 01:47 am UTC (link)
Someone posted about you on the community just now, we are all very worried. I always read your posts as you have such great insight, and have done so much for the community. Please try to be strong and know that things will change, especially when you least expect it.

(Reply to this)


[info]heartpulp
2007-01-28 02:44 am UTC (link)
Kristi, this worries me. I don't know what's going on but I hope so much that you didn't go through with this. You are in my thoughts.

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[info]thisisnotme_
2007-01-28 09:12 am UTC (link)
Girl, I don't know you, but reading this post makes me really scared. I really hope you're okay *hugs*

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[info]yum_tum
2007-01-28 09:54 am UTC (link)
Babe
x

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[info]lilith_faerie
2007-01-28 03:19 pm UTC (link)
Kristi, i really hope you're ok. I know i don't know you at all since i'm new, but everyone involved with this site already means so much to me, like we're all family. I think that in itself, that i don't feel so alone anymore, has saved my life. You are not alone either, i know you're in this personal hell right now and you can't see any way through it and there isn't really anything any of us can say that will help, but just know this - you are not alone, we all love you, you are a beautiful and worthwhile person and have helped all of us so much. I am sending as much good energy to you as i can right now, please please please be ok...love shelley xo

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[info]boney2b
2007-01-28 03:26 pm UTC (link)
I hope you didn't go through with this and you're cuddling with the kitties right now.

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[info]starving_singer
2007-01-28 03:57 pm UTC (link)
Kristi please be alright hun *hugs*

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[info]berlinisburning
2007-01-28 05:31 pm UTC (link)
i don't know you, but i think what you did with proana site has been amazing. you can't please all of the people all of the time but please, please know that the majority of us (and thats a big number) are pleased with what happened. i realise that's probably only half of the problem, but nothing is so big that it can't be worked through, nothing. like josie says up top, there is hope. i hope this isn't too late. hugs hugs hugs hugs xxxxx

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[info]miss_scars
2007-01-28 05:32 pm UTC (link)
kristi please be okay
you mean so much to all of us
we would be nothing without you
please wake up
please come back
please be ok
pleaseeee
<3
we love you
xxxxxxx

(Reply to this)


[info]chicagorda13
2007-01-28 05:33 pm UTC (link)
I hope you are okay. I don't even know you, but someone just posted in the community and I really don't want anything to have happened to you. I feel so close to EVERYBODY in that community.. like everyone is my family. And I have a lot going on with my real family right now.. everybody has rough times, we just have to work through them... so I really hope that you update soon and let us all know that you are okay... please be okay..
*hugs*
-TAMMIE

(Reply to this)


[info]katrina18
2007-01-28 05:57 pm UTC (link)
Kristi I hope you're alright. I was on proanorexia this morning and everyone seems worried about how you're doing. I want you to know that we love you very much. Please let us know how you're doing when you're feeling up to it.

I just really wanted you to know how grateful I am to you for maintaining such a supportive and safe place for ED suffers. Because of your efforts I have recieved life changing advice when I really needed it. Because of your hard work I'm seeing doctors and organizing recovery. Thank you so much for that. I really really hope you're ok. You've got so much to offer to the world. *hugs*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]pilllowtalk
2007-01-30 02:11 am UTC (link)
she's gone now.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]lightasacloud
2007-01-28 07:44 pm UTC (link)
You are in the thoughts of thousands. You are far more than just a grain of sand on the beach of life. You are special. x

(Reply to this)


[info]fat_heather
2007-01-29 03:37 am UTC (link)
Oh, Kristi. My heart is breaking. Please be okay.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]pilllowtalk
2007-01-30 02:11 am UTC (link)
sweetie, she's at peace.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]fat_heather, 2007-01-30 02:31 am UTC

(81 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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